13 Days

I’m thirteen days away from my debut release. And this isn’t the dream I’ve clutched since I wrote halting poems about the robins outside or the nativity set my parents painted long before I was born.

I went to Mount Hermon a handful of years ago with my good friend Hannah Prewett.

And we both knew how our writing careers would go…

Hannah and I attend a local Christian writer’s group in Northern California. And we accidentally knew each other before I’d even stepped foot into the church where our monthly meetings are held. Our paths seemed destined to be! Before I knew it, we’d planned on going to Mount Hermon and, of course, we’d be roommates.

Here we are at the 2019 West Coast Christian Writers Conference a couple of weeks ago!

Boy, did we prepare! Business cards? Check. One-sheets? Check. Practice and practice and practice the elevator pitches? Check, the entire three-hour drive (with the exception of stopping for Chick-fil-A). And our mentors warned us not to get too excited, that this was only to learn and make connections with other writers.

But, again, we both knew our careers would launch into the atmosphere—a couple of those authors who just happened to make it straight out of the gate. She’d be a world-famous writer of fairytales with an allegorical twist. I’d churn out clean, sarcastic Young Adult books with pre-order dates months in advance. (See lots o’ pics and read Hannah’s telling here)

You see where this is headed?

My “career” started off like a car wreck. Hannah hugged me as I wept that very first night because I wasn’t a good writer, according to a note written on my submitted manuscript. There were no redeeming qualities in my story. I cried like a kindergartener dropped off at school for the first time: I wanted to go home, I wanted my blankie, and I wanted a snack.

This wasn’t how My Amazing Writing Career was supposed to start!

That evening, Robin Jones Gunn’s message righted my sails. And I let go of my writing career…for the night. Because I just knew it’d all turn around in the morning!

Let me save you some backstory: the answer to that was NOPE. And it would continue to go sideways, slantways, longways, and squareways for quite some time.

In the meantime, I’ve learned and practiced. Hannah and I still go to conferences together. (Like Realm Makers!) I’ve met amazing people and keep studying the craft. I read mind-blowing books and others that make me squint. I push and grow, putting myself out there after countless rejections.

My fat contract from one of “The Big Five” CBA houses has never materialized, but I have an incredible agent! There are friends who’ve mailed me a card or sent a text when I’ve had a no-good, rotten day. A couple of kindred spirits made of sarcasm and tacos now grace my life.

I’m thirteen days away from my debut release, as a self-published author. And this isn’t the dream I had, but I’m happy God’s got this dream in His hands.

Releasing into the wild, March 14, 2019

I Am A Failure

Had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. She commented about the header on my blog (A sarcastic Christian author taking the the publishing world by storm…one rejection at a time). She mentioned that “…it kinda sounds like you don’t think much of yourself.”

So I admitted to her: I don’t. At all.

Let me clarify, before the Bible thumping begins. Yes, I know I am fearfully and wonderfully made. And that I’m God’s workmanship. Also, that the Lord has a plan for my life. People…I’m a pastor’s kid.

I fully expect to facepalm in this writing journey stuff. I’ve already collected lots of rejections for stories I thought were spectacular. But here’s the truth about me:

I believe I will fail.

This is my secret. A dose of self-deprecating keeps it real for me, so that when I do fail, the fall is not so far. This is why rejections only hurt me a little. It’s like a bee sting–hurts at first and eventually goes away.

I’m guessing that there is someone horror-stricken by my confession. “She doesn’t think God is in control!”

Au contraire.

God’s given me this self-defense mechanism. I write because He’s given me stories. Sure, it’d be fanfreakingtastic to have a traditional publisher be all, “Here’s a fat contract.” But from where I stand, I don’t suffer any broken bones when I’m told no…even if it’s in a polite email.

There are approximately a million quotes on failure, but this one will show you my heart’s point of view (and writer’s know POV):

Coloring Inside the Lines

My first official post for this website will be something that I “ought” to write. Every inspiring author can tell you there are mountains of to-do lists and tips about becoming a real writer.

Have a website!

Get business cards!

Make sure to post to Facebook and Instagram, Twitter and Goodreads. EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

All of this while writing a new book and still living life (working full-time and being a wife and mom, for me).

My secret? I don’t do everything that is correct. And if I do, it’s not necessarily in order. Just ask my eternally patient agent.

So, while this first post is in the correct order, don’t hold me to any expectations. I will probably mess up the color scheme or forget to post on the right date. I just ate tacos and French fries for lunch. I forget to thank people. I forget names.

Hang in here with me and we’ll see if we can make a real author of me yet.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining the shenanigans. This is my “official” website. Please excuse the mess while I transition from my former blog to this one.

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. — Dr. Seuss

Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple. — Willy Wonka

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